Please...

I do not know why I allow it to happen again. I do not understand why it keeps on coming to me. All I know is that I always become the victim of situations. People seek for me when they are half-drowned or when they have reached nowhere but a dead end in the highway. They say ‘you are great’. They say ‘you are a true friend’. They say ‘I should have not overlooked your kindnesses’. They say ‘I cannot go through it if it is not because of you’. They say tones of appreciation words to me when I gave them the hand they needed much but do they really mean what they say?

Someone has described me as a tough guy. How much tough? He sees me as tough as the titanium bar but I do not agree. Perhaps, it is just like a crab shell. Hard enough to protect myself from any climate changes and many enemies under the sea but it is by fact, still crack-able. Crab, a symbol to my zodiac means that I was not born tough. The toughness develops as I grow older and remember, it is the people like you that make it even tougher. Time after time people like you hurt me from the inside, slowly and that leaves me no option but to develop a tougher shell to go through these days. Have you not realized that there is limit in everything?

That is why I have no problem to axe anyone out from my life. It is not because I enjoy doing it but it is because of what you do to me. Compulsive, persistent and intolerable pressure on my shell. I will try to swallow the bitter part even when you do not notice it but I promise you, it will not be long. I have to take care of this wounded heart. I need some time off so that it will heal properly if it cannot be completely. Even this to happen, you have to help me. Please let me swim in the sea. I am done with walking. You know that it is nearly impossible for a crab to walk straight. That is why I am asking you to stop holding my back. I do not hesitate to leave but it is not my job to punish people. I will not let you go through what I am going through because I know, you will not make it. Positively, it is not underestimating you but just to prevent you from suffering any bad moments. Am I not being good enough? Please, save me. Do as I wish. Then only I start to believe in justice. After all, you do not really being sensitive about me.