Thursday, June 18, 2009
It may sound an ancient, rusty question for 4th year medical students like me. Some, if ask, would get annoy to answer such question but is that a sign that our focus are already out of the objective we set many years back? I cannot comment much as it may be due to other reasons. Well, different people have different ideas. Me too, would not know if the route that I am currently using would eventually lead to my hopes in life. It is easier said than done. So, I need a lot of prayers to have the stamina to maintain my walk.
Not long time ago, when the U.S. invaded Iraq, I was only a bird who flies without wing, waiting for the SPM result to be released. I could still remember the night that I watched Buletin Utama on TV3. It was a quiet night that sparked my mind to ask myself, “What if the world ends in 2-3 years time, destroyed by the evil face of human just for the sake of POWER? It means, I will be a drop out due to the uninvited war. It is okay if the world ends but what if it commenced a normal life after a disastrous war? I would be again at the losing end.” Then I started to ask, “What is in an ENGINEER? What can they contribute during war? Oh! Hello…I would be just a student in 2 years time and that gives me nothing special. I can help to build up the nation for the future but only after I graduated. What about being a pilot? Will it still be safe to fly the planes? And what is in a DOCTOR? If I were to take up medicine, there is high possibility that I would be a good asset to the religion, country and race. I would have some knowledge to help up the war victims after 2 years of learning. Even if the only thing I know is dressing, it would be something beneficial. If there is life after war, I will be equipped with ‘hands of God’. Unlike other professions, let it be engineering, pilot, business or hospitality, nothing is greater than becoming a doctor. I can help people simply with my knowledge and the money that I earn. It can be done with just me and the patient around”
It puts me in a mess of mind for a couple of days. I could still remember telling my first ex, Miss G a few months before SPM that I could end up doing anything at any particular reason and time but definitely not to become a doctor. It is one hell of a profession that I will not fall in love with. I added “I am not a nerd bugger but simply an artistic person who loves creating something from anything.” I think again, who cares anyway? She had become my past. There is no need for me to bother on my words and I enrolled into Sains Hayat in MOE matriculation. My long journey continues after being accepted into medical school. I would say, I have gone through the toughest obstacle, which needed me to be on my feet at all time. However, that is just the challenges in Level 1. I would soon be in the next level and is forced to come out with a different style of tactical plan, at least in the middle of the next stage. We could not afford to stick to the same strategy, as this would expose ourselves to be trapped into the enemy’s counter-attacking game. It is a never to be in the comfort zone too long. I am not worried of the final minutes of this level since I am already knew who I would be facing. All I need to do is to assure that nothing stops me from graduating. Therefore, I need to study hard and work things out smartly to achieve something that I accidentally fell for. I want to make my parents proud of me.
That is the coming days and what is my plan for the coming years? There is no war and life is in fact better than before. When I looked back onto my thoughts, some were totally false impression. It is probably just a reason blown to my heart, so that I would not choose to be an engineer or a pilot. It shows how great the God is. He knows what is best for His creatures. I am part of His miracle. When I choose to do MBBS, I surprised everyone around me. Even my dad thought I was influence by my uncle who holds double degree from the school of engineering in Oxford University. Some people criticized my choice because deciding at the very last minute? That is why I said, it is God’s willing, Alhamdullilah. More things will come in the future but let me just keep it in mind. Sharing is caring but it does not apply here. My skyscraping dreams may scare some people and I probably have had. Besides, I prefer to go through obstacles, one at one to avoid misleading direction and false hopes.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
I had always wanted to watch movie in cinema alone but nothing urge me to really do it until one day, my peer said something about it. Then, there was another one who commented, it is pathetic with no reason to do so and the person who does that must be serious awful. I did not say anything about it but that situation triggered my mind to ask myself “why not?”.
(hmmm...thinking of, to do or not to do it?)
A couple of days later, after chilling out with a friend in Subang, he requested me to drop him in Pyramid. This had happened before, so I asked “Ko lepak lagi? Kawan tunggu ke?” He replied while yelling at me “Kawan? Eh, takde lar, aku jalan sorang2, go arcade then catch up any movie lar”. I was a little surprise that there are actually people who do watch movies without any company. His reasons were quite reasonable. He said that his wife or good friend’s ample time is not always synchronized as his. So, why should he misses any good show just because no one to come along with him? I nodded my head.
I decided to start doing it in the following week. It was Fast & Furious 4. My first experience was a bit kekok but I enjoyed the show. I noticed, the guys who sat besides me as well as the front seat were also alone! So, it is not something against the norm. I did it again in the week after. This time, it was...eh, i dun remember the title. Of course, I enjoyed the night as good movies really calm my mind. The third was Angels & Demons but not on the consecutive week.
(one of d nite tat i decided not to go alone..ditemani julie for wolverine)
Since Wednesday offer discounts on movie tickets and the only weekdays that is not fully occupied, I planned to reserve the day for movie in the next coming weeks but it is strictly depending on my availability. If I start going to gym, then tata bubye lar. Funny thing, I do not feel like calling any of my friends from other universities who are currently on holiday. However, I will not rule out anyone who calls me out for a movie. I am still the same person, just a little more mature than before. I can do things on my own without anyone’s company just like how I attend my classes. After trying out 3 times, I find it really positive. I have not been in LATE for the show, I even have time to walk around and play some games and many more. Of course, it is more interesting to watch movies in a group but it is also okay to do it alone. Like Lenka said “just enjoy the show”.