Friday, March 20, 2009

The day i walked away, speechless

It was a tearful week. I had to bear a very deep cut in my heart alone, giving no space for others to see the visible wound. Neither mom nor brothers know about it. I am disappointed especially to what you did towards me last Sunday. It was not unforgivable but definitely will lead to malunion healing. I will not say it is inerasable from the memory because that will make me no different from a few others who, may not have been keeping grudges but still allowing painful memory to stay. I am not that kind of a person who being holds by the past in any situation. I forgive people but it is always the matter of ‘analytical’ calculation, which, if it brings me more harm than good, then I will not hesitate to axe the person from my life, temporarily. I am mean, extremely mean in such situation and people will not want me to do that on them. I have, so far, done it to less than 5 people and had closed their chapter in my life. Oh! I am still a human being with a wonderful heart. Due to the unforgiving deeds, I am actually giving them another chance through this way. They can be my friend again, if they come and call for a new chapter in my book. The only factor here is ‘time’. If they come at a very wrong hour, then, it will take a longer time to re-introduce them again.

It is not hard to do it especially when the feels are so strong, which I cannot resist. Unfortunately, I had left a gap while implementing or taking such move as part of principle in life. I will not say it was mistakenly set. Perhaps, I choose who to be the victim of my cruelty. The ‘immunity’ chain, wear by my family and the love ones make them indispensable at any stake. No matter how much pain I feel from the sharp knife they are holding, I will still reply with a smile. I will make sure it continues to be that way as long as I am breathing to live. I know, you have been trying to check on me the day after that and after that. I am glad that I did not say a word but just walked away with a smile, speechless, moving on my own, living like the nomads. Just so that you know, I am extremely frustrated that you did not walk your talk. Worse still, your action towards me was the thing that I did, which you said was wrong. I am learning and you are always there to guide but if it is like a dog barking by the roadside, then, might as well I learn to live my way.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Mini budget

Congratulations Malaysia government for the RM60 billion effort! It is double the figure I was expecting and I am hopeful that it is enough to cushion the impact of global economy meltdown. I may be naïve in business or economy but that does not mean I do not learn anything from the prospect. Personally, I do gain something from this miserable flop that the world is experiencing. I gain even more when the local government decided to throw RM60 billion to stimulate the economy growth. I believed that I am not sharing the good news alone. However, I am sorry for the others who are feeling the heat of the recession. Though theoretically Malaysia is not in recession but practically we are. Just look at the mall. We have sale every day! Just the stability of the local banks convinced us but never say we are insulated from the crisis. The economy is bad and can get worse. The game has just started. Do not be afraid if you are not fully equipped. Sometimes, you still survive when you have nothing, as the civilized army kills no civilian.