Thursday, January 22, 2009

Year 2009

(nothing will stop me from achieving my goals)

Nothing big is planned for the next two years for the community like what I have done in year 2008. The remaining years before I completed my degree studies were designed for only myself. I would say 2009 and 2010 are years of being selfish. This time is meant to satisfy my needs, to enjoy my days as a student.

Last year, I have successfully proposed a project for the orphan but it did not work out as smooth as I wanted it to be. It could be due to my absence in the organization but at least, I have met my own target. It was a good start for things that I have planned and hopefully I can do better next time. A few months after that, I proposed a charity event to raise fund for the orphan through car drifting. It was rejected but I did not give up. I handed it to other people and it turned out to be a successful event. Certain party with collaboration of MyTV3 @ drift have emerged as the organizer and proudly implemented the ideas that my cousin and I had been sharing. I did not mean to tell but the point that I wanted to stress here is that ‘do not give up’. In my previous writing, I wrote about meeting a road end for this event but with a lot of prayers from the people, the impossible turned out to be possible by itself. It is God’s willing. Alhamdullilah.

This year, I expect a lot of backpacking; outdoors activities while a better concentration on studies. Other than that, the amount reserve for savings would be lesser compared to last year but still in accordance to meet the targeted sum. I have invested in bulk and now, I am just waiting for the money to grow. It will then be used for my EURO trip in 2010 after securing my degree. I am targeting to check out at least 6 countries in 2-3 months stay. The dream is to travel from Switzerland-Germany-Netherlands-Belgium-France-Italy and back to Switzerland if possible. That will be a massive journey if I could make it happen. Well, every wish starts from a dream and to have it achieve, some plans need to be implemented to work things out. A lot of efforts and passion are required, not just stop and stare.

(i will make sure my target n focus remain gud even in bad days)

Monday, January 12, 2009

When friends become good friends, competitor and opponent

How good can our friends be? What is the limit when we befriended others? Do they really soothe us when we are down or get disappointed? Will they sacrifice more of their time and maybe money for us to survive the obstacles we are facing? How would good friends treat us when we are competing for the same thing? Will they play ‘smart’ or play ‘right’? How many times did we hear good friends become ‘betrayer’?

All this happens in the real context of life. It does not really bother me but in the late, I have been receiving a lot of words, asking me to keep them around. I am far from good but I have principles in life, which I think are appropriate. I help anyone as long as I can and all depends solely on my capacity. I will say ‘no’ when I believe I cannot do it or when it is 50-50. I do not want to give false hope as I do not want to hurt them. Well, hurting them when I say ‘no’ is less severe than saying ‘yes’ but doing nothing. Realistically, words of comfort contain more lies than actions. I am just a human being who does not run from making mistakes, a typical guy who always think girls are cute people.

My baby Kim..Ops! Kimbo in her tummy, definately not mine..

The sweet n lovely Syaz

Abel d caring n unstopable clown

Dae d tube light yg comel

Personally, I have experienced losing two best friends and now left with 4 from the same network. It really hurt as we grew up going through phases of life together. The reasons could be simple and straight forward ‘a girl and power’. I have no intention to flash back the past but let it just discuss the key to remain as before. Inevitably, there will be people who come and go but how or what can be done to keep us as happy as before?

This would have relative answers. Everyone has his own personal view but I believed very much in “moderation”. For the last one year or two, I have tuned myself to do things moderately. It could be due from the unbearable pain I felt in the previous years. My aunty who had repeatedly telling me stories about her husband and a few obsessed people, triggered the motion to change. The result of being too obsessive is always poor while moderation is always at the other end. This is a fact, not myth. Let us look back at the human idol, Muhammad S.A.W. He had stressed on the importance of being moderate in almost all sort of things related to the world.

Now that I am 23 years old, I have many good friends around in many places, either it locally or internationally. My network is bigger compared to the na├»ve ‘azam’. Duh, it always gets bigger as we grow. The important point here is that I am prepared for the worse, as the time mature me to be a man who will only need little time to solve problems. You make me happy, I will try to make you happy. You annoy me, I will just walk away and move to the next station. I will not stop too long, trying to deal with any unnecessary circumstances. Like a friend of mine who said that I make a good brother to her and praised me for being around but at the same time saying shit things to others about me just because her guy didn’t like me. That do not disappoint me but it is only making out a fool of herself. So what if her guy hates me? and so what if she becomes the ‘betrayer’? I believe in God. He will protects the right ones no matter what. So? Go ahead with the lies as human is born with brain (anencephaly do not survive), they can think and God will lead their heart to trust me even more. You give me one shit, I will not revenge but God will give you two shits in return to answer your beautiful heart. I thought, I was being very bad for taking 2 years to reply her birthday gift but this reluctant heart of mine seem to know a lot of unseen things. I do not know. It could probably just a coincident. Anyhow, I am now laughing looking at her pretending being an angel. Oh! Maybe she is an angel but in the satanic world?

In Subang, I could not remember the last time I pay for my drinks or foods when we hang out. Interestingly, I hang out with them almost every weekend. Bistro? Darus? Behind my place? Snooker? Barcelona? Centro (I dislike d beats ere) ? A particular guy never allowed me to pay just because I am a student. For God sake, he earns only RM1100 per month and that is close to my monthly ‘gift’. With the current economy, I would consider that as a very small amount for independent people. However, his sincerity is true and I could see that. How did he survive? I do not know but he treats me like his own brother. He cares for me but of course, with limits. Unfortunately, there will be no more ‘azam’ of the past. He will get good treatment from me but not to the stage of being his brother. I will not starve because of a friend. I will not beg others for a friend. I will not repeat the same mistakes I did in the past. Worse still, he is not even considered as the untouchable ‘four’. Meaning, he is just someone I knew for less than two years but is pathetically ranked lower than the four good friends of mine in terms of priority but the only one who has been spending much for me. He is incredibly someone who has not being calculative on me but yet, I am not giving him the same passion I gave to those four buddies of mine. Perhaps, this is what I mean by moderation. I would probably treat him better in the coming time but in a slow mode.

(love looking at these 2sweet ladies, they practically doing everything together! can see d chemistry is ther, like sisters)
It is not easy being the eldest in the family but I used to wish to have an older brother. I want him to lead me, to assure that there is a fine flow of life. I thought I have found one but I did not. I get hurts when he is giving his best to comfort other people’s feeling than mine. I became the person that he would sacrifice to assure happiness for another party. I had to swallow all the pain on my own. Perhaps, that made me being myself. I do not need an older brother. Possibly, the cousin that I live together since small is good enough to be the brother I need. Others? Friends just solidly remain friends. Nothing more.

(my powerpuff girls: i love d way they treat me)
I am very happy having suits with my own fundamental. It gives me happiness more than sad moments. I have very strong relationship with my family and they are the people I need most. They are my family, my best friends and my buddies. They are simply my everything. So, the highest a friend can place in my life is just being a good friend. In other time, there is possibility of you become my competitor or opponent but I will try to fair play. For those who think they have great times with their friends – congratulations but when you fall into the hidden trap then think about my post again and you will want to slow down your pace in friendship. By the way, friends of different gender hardly disappoint us. That is why God creates women for men. The only problem is, they do not last unless if they end up being our other half but it works only for 1 as the quota is very limited. However, being me, I will not fall for a friend and yet, I haven’t. I believe in love at the first sight especially when the heart beats, and it beats only when I meet her. When that happens, I will flirt and grab but if I fail to get then I will move, looking for another star that twinkle the most during that joyful night. After all, life is all about exploring.

The circle of TRUST:beyond infiniti

A writer and his writing

“A lot of reading and nothing from writing” gives no difference or maybe slight. Now that I understand, writing is an art and it bears in the person’s mind. The skills are in them but gets sharper when they write more and more. My experiment, hoping to change my way of writing is inclining towards failure. I thought, giving a ‘rest’ to the mind or taking some time off while analyzing others’ work would make me write like some known journalist or at least, Abel (i really think shes gud). Perhaps, there are differences but the principle remains. I don’t know. I could just be judging myself too early but I will start writing again and compare it with my previous writings in the next couple of months. After all, I love to write and speak the mind out. Therefore, I cannot be taking too much time off to revolutionize my way. The definite result could only be seen after several writing. However, the outcome is all about self-satisfaction and has got nothing to do with the people outside there. It is totally personal and my absent could just be a reason for me to distance myself from the people. Why should I anyway? and to my 1st ex, Happy bday Genevieve.