Sunday, May 25, 2008

Drift in charity event???

It is getting more popular now. Some may say it is ridiculous but I strongly believe, there are more positive values to bring on drifters to the charity event. I managed to call up some drifters to be apart of ‘my team’. Comes July 2008, YM3 will be organising a day with the orphan. We will have ‘makan2’, ‘borak2’ and outdoor activities. To make it more interesting, the kids will have an opportunity to watch some drift show, to get into the car and many more. The drifters will be giving some talk to stress on the importance of religion, education and the needs to follow the rule. They will also be donating blood. The orphan will be exposed to medical and automotive industries. In my personal view, the kids can be either obedient or aggressive. Therefore, it is good to involve people from 2 contra life (doctor & drifter/racer) who stick to the same objectives. At least, they will listen to the ‘drifters’ if they are not interested to listen to the ‘future doctors’. Besides, it may guide them to the proper way in ‘misusing the roads’. We are trying to come out with something to make the kids to be an open-minded person. It is just another effort to ‘save’ the orphan from drowning without guidance. Ya, it is only a one-day event, but a meaningful ones. Insyaallah. Pray a successful event for us. (Young Mercy 3, Batch 2005/06)
Check out for the detail of the event in late June or early July.
Any suggestion? Pls mail it to us. We’re working hard on it. Tq

Friday, May 23, 2008


As the newly appointed financial advisor to the family, I am delightful to say that I have moved a step further in life. I am throwing myself into a more adventurous and joyful era. After being exposed on finance for many months, my parents have finally opened every detail of their past 1 year transactions and their future investment plans. Yeah, we are not rich but we always come out with something to assure that money shortage will never been an issue. Of course, I have no rights on their $$$ but I am quite influential on decision making. Perhaps, that is the quality in every 1st child. It is not that they listen to me but we agree on the same relevant information. Great minds think alike. I am managing more things now and enjoy the current role especially when money matters. I like it when the investment shows positive sign. I do not see but I do sense every opportunity that comes. It reminds me of my late grandfather of mother’s side. He made million quietly. I am being so arrogant about myself. Why shouldn’t I? I have proved it many times, at least to myself. I have made a bunch of it with little money. Sounds illogical? Well, everyone has the right to speak but those closely related people know best about me. It is time to be extrovert rather than introvert. Shut the reasons because what lies ahead is more important. No doubt there are many things that I do not know. I am learning and will not stop moving forward. It goes back to the basic. If others can do, why can’t I?

Investment involves everything. It is not just about luck or being intuitive but it is also require analytical and critical thinking. When you analyse means you use your eyes and your mind more than your mouth. It is positive. Speak only when needed. I still remember Prof Nasa’s words, ‘to be a good doctor, you need to be a good observant’. I am not forcing myself to change but just opt to remind myself not to go overboard at times. Ya, I had enough with some people. When I told them it was wrong to do and bla bla bla, they ended putting the blame on me. What else can I say when I was punished for giving my view to improve certain situations? I realised that some superior just do not need to be advised. He wants us to keep quiet and allow the damage to be done. It teaches me, that if it ever happens again, all I need to do is to prepare myself to minimise the consequences. That will help to avoid a miserable life as a result of others’ fault. I am far from being great but optimist. My dad like to say ‘never ever think you are good because in reality there are many more who is better than you’. Besides, it will make you floating and forgetting about your basis. It makes you become evil. It diverts your goals in life. Power, felt at any level is the great corrupter of the soul. I am aware of all these. I am short of someone who can keep me on the great track closely but I still have my mom to teach me.

Investment is secondary to my profession but the mind is happy when you have more money. It is like almost everything in this world. Just name it. You will get almost everything. If not, you can use visa or mastercard. Hehe. I am on long term planning which will put me in a comfortable situation once I graduated. Insyaallah. I do not want to be like some people who will only start to think about making money later, which to me are considered losing sum amount between the years. The earlier I become rich, the earlier I can start giving to the poor and at least, the higher chances to share it with my parents. Better still, I can travel to many countries to enjoy their food and culture. Then I can dream to own a supercar. Ferrari F430, Aston Martin DB9 or Audi R8. However, that is not a necessary. I would prefer to have more money than materials. It annoys me if I go to a place with an empty wallet. It restricts my move! I am not on one or two but three plans. What will happen if things are going to the wrong end? I do not know but in everything I do, I have the contingency plan and sufficient amount to compensate the loss. I pray and work very hard to get the blessing in every of my move. It will reach to a level, which money is the least priority thing in life but at this moment, it stays topping the list. I take it as a stepping-stone towards achieving more important things. Do pray for my success. Thank you.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Great ones,im honoured

The first weekend in surgery posting, I am pleased with how the weekend turned out to be. YM 3 with some of YM 4 group members chilled out on Friday night in Malacca town. We had dinner as well as supper around the shopping mall with movie marathon. Should I say illegal movie marathon? Hmm.. It was a midnight show for ‘Iron Man’ before we sneaked in the next room to view some part of ‘Speed Racer’. It was unintentional but as soon as we entered the room, it became intentional. I sleep like mad that night, completely awake at 12noon sharp. There was a ‘walkathon’ in Terendak camp in the morning but since I was permitted to skip it, I sweetly relaxed my body and mind on the bed. Then, I spent the rest of the time watching movies on tv. I wondered, why are all the movies about ‘anak derhaka’? Then only I realised, Sunday is a ‘Mother’s day’. I quickly took my phone and wished the love ones. I woke up early the next morning to attend ‘Hari Ulangtahun ke-41 Kor Kesihatan’. We were the honorary guests and were treated like big names even though there was no lecturers turn up. The climax of the show was when they used M-16 and fire to the sky. Each of us was surprised that the guns were actually loaded. Then, we had a photography session with Dr. Azmi, Dr. Azlan, The President and Major Faiz, the astronaut. I am also happy that we have finally agreed to cook dinner. Now, I am less concern about how much MSG in my body since we will start eating homemade dishes. It will also help to reduce my stress level since I enjoy cooking. Most of the utensils were taken from Abang Pian’s relatives nearby. We had ‘Sambal Udang Petai’ and omelette for the first dinner. Good start, keep it up gang!

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Clueless or clue-less?

On the verge of a decisive moment, before I took the wrong move, I was hammered by sceptical thought. What is there to rush on? Why should I think negatively about ambiguous situations? Wouldn’t it be great to have some if not the big picture of the situation? I am glad to have called the ‘little sis’! The conversation was meaningful, as it had opened the partially blinded eye. I should have reserved some room for myself. True enough, we need to care for our own heart deeply because no one care that much. Haha! I guess things will get nasty if it continues to be this way. I was highly motivated by ‘little sis’ and will not raise the white flag up until there is no more to offer. It is simple and very straightforward. The mind needs to be neutral before anything. Next is to be amble in applying the plans. I will do it thoroughly and carefully without any avoidable mistakes. At the moment, all I need is luck!

Friday, May 2, 2008

will be back on Sunday...haih..

its just a few days away before i return to the dark BLUE hometown..its difficult to say, but i think, i would be again, a mixed feeling...but its not about the runaway friends...its about the difficult friends...i dont know how wud i b confronting them..haih...its so pening! aduh! mcm mana nak layan mangkuk2 nih semua??? they r sooo out of their mind!! how can u smsing and talking using d lovvy duvvy words to a person of d same gender! goooosh! if gegirl xpelar..ini boboy...asked me to keep tis as secret lar, itu lar, ini lar...oh my God! wat is happening??? its not oni d soldier but oso d hospital staffs! okay...fine...its 1 staff actually...tat i know...

hes so yukky! he is already 40+ but yet, stil into this shit??? do i manage this type of ppl??? kang kalau report, ill b in trouble...he cud b using all his network to find fault at me...then there goes my posting...dahlar kena mark time public health hari tu sbb commenting on lecturers, nak kena ngan hospital plak??? waaaahhh!!! tak bley tak bley...aduh...

these ppl r pathetic..confuse or conflict?? God has created women for men. It is a wonderful gift from heaven that needs no one to criticise it. Why would there b any confusion in gender determination? Isn't biological relevant enough to show which group you belong? How can we help these people? Or what is actually our responsibility as a human? Nowadays, it is nearly impossible not to find one 'half-half' in an area. Suprisingly, Malacca or specifically around the hostel's area is highly contaminated with these confused people. LAst year, there was even a beauty pageant for the transexual people recognition. Yucks! Has the world coming closer to its end? Aduh! yg lagi am i gonna face all this when the class start??? Tell me...

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Try something new

If a certain situation is over, then let it be over. Stop hitting replay in your memory. It's time to eject that disk and move onto something new. You have tried, it’s not that you have given up. If nothing else, at least notice how many times you think about it today. (01/05/08)

Updates on 2008 short-term goals set in Oct 2007

I went slightly ahead of the time. It was awesome to have achieved, I suppose 80% of the goals. I started pretty well possibly due to the good analysis on which goals to complete first. Anyhow, it was not the smart brain but instead was His blessing. I prayed to Him to smooth my long-term goals. 20% left on the paper does not mean that I will start forgetting or taking it for granted. I am discipline enough to finish the task but will settle the 10% by June and to leave another 10% throughout the year. It means that, I should be able to complete the final 10% by December 2008. My mind is much more relax now and I am back being a teenager. (01/05/08)

It's time to change

There were so many thoughts about upset events in my life. I have been wondering where the mistake started or which words blow the lights off? It could be due to the insensitive or negligence towards certain individual I believed could be entertained later. The utmost logical and relevant step I should be taking soon with full consideration of surrender is to change the whole ‘retarded mind’. This goes by saying, scrapping off the negative and replacing it with the respected beliefs. Why and what for? We can’t make everyone happy since nobody is the same. What about being secondary or primary? Does that really exist? I don’t know and will never know if I keep on stressing about it. It is important to have put the priority towards the love ones but we do not say or ask this from matured people. They are wise enough in what to give and to whom? Only ‘kanak2 ribena’ will want it deeply. It reflects the insecurity of a person. No doubt, I had been grown up pampered in many aspects but not spoiled. I should have done better in managing certain avoidable situations. Of course, I have said to only think if I find it necessary or to have found the right person but when will the search for perfection will stop? How perfect I want it to be? Isn’t the perfect ones is myself? Oh! What have I done? Am I living to create a human being like me? Gosh! That is pathetic!

I realised about it a long ago but refused to look into this since I know, things are easy come and easy go. I am close to 23 and should be thinking about life in balance. Therefore, I think, the time to change has come. It is a paradigm shift and is not a resolution. Though, it doesn’t mean I have to support PKR and dumb BN. Personally, it is about time for changes in myself for the better ones. The most important thing is to look into various perspectives. Which? The most suitable options best suited with the people around us. Does it mean change for someone? Indirectly yes but simply to have a beautiful life. It satisfies me if I could make the sweet ones to be happy and not grumpy. I know, girls are better in making and creating wonderful moments but with an extra effort, the guys are capable too. It is all about what the heart and mind say. You want it? There is always a way.

It was in the wee hours and my mom had said to me “the best life of all life is to be happy and enjoy doing things we love”. The best thing on earth is best shared. It is better to have just roti canai on 2days trip of holiday without a fight or quarrel compared to makan besar but argue too much. Certainly, I am not touching any religion issue here. Then, I looked at the 2 baby squirrels of mine. They were running and jumping, playing with each other in the cage. They were not living in the best place but they did come out with something. They appreciate everything they have and make the best out of it for happiness. I am not studying the animals but just happen to view them from different way. Am I giving too many spaces for others and take the blame? It does not matter to me since I always believe in God. He had created the good ones for the good people and vise versa. Again, it is all about the balance.

If we ever change for someone, never complain of what we do not receive. Somehow, the time for us to get what we wanted will come. I am stuck thinking about someone I adore. Will it benefit me to change for her? I do not know and dare to say that I am not ready to lose anything. The only important thing is to stop the nonsense. From there, I can start doing other things. What if she hasn’t got much interest like I do? It doesn’t matter I guess. After all, we can only plan and God always has the final say. I do not see her throwing any hints of attraction but who cares anyway as long as I am not ruining other people’s relationships. It surprised me that I actually have a serious thought about this. Well, she is the girl of my first interest. I hadn’t gone after someone. Really. The previous relationship I had is all about the odds. It means that I made the girls went after me just to win the bet of the day among my friends or cousins. Sadly to say, I had never wanted a girl before. However, the feeling now is much different compared to the past. If this is love then what about the past? That confused me. Perhaps, it is just another love but initiated from deep inside of my heart. This could be the sincere ones unlike the previous experience.

Why am I talking as though she is so great in my eyes? There are some negative things also in her. Again, I am confused. How could I be willing to adapt? How could I be willing to change myself? Possibly, the negative ones are very minor and the positive values in her that concerned me the most. Am I ready to accept challenges and go after her? Am I equipped with tonnes of money? The key of success is the key to the girl’s heart. Good girls want the guys to understand her more than to materialise her. I should be looking into this view without hesitation. The time for a change has come. All I need to do is to change and not asking her to change for me. If she is meant for me, then, I will eventually get her no matter how little she sees me doing things for her because the hardest thing to do is to change oneself. It is consider as sacrifice. Another meticulous moved by me :)That’s why I called her ‘Mermaid’. She brought the wave of changes. (30/04/08)

Surgery O' Surgery

It is the posting that I am eager to start even before its introduction. It is not about a lighter posting but the positive perceptions on the lecturers. Dr. Ahmed and Brig. Gen. Dr. Azlan are two knowledgeable practitioners equipped with the best medicine on earth that is laughter. They like to laugh even at some lame jokes. Though I haven’t started my training under them but I absolutely believe, it will turn as good as expected. I had a good experience in internal medicine and hope the coming posting will be even better.

The first exposure I had to both of them was in the Operation theatre (O.T.) on 28 April 2008. It was exactly a week away from the posting to commence. I had herniaraphy done on me in an hour. It was the first cut by lancets on my body, which has got to be stitched. I was paraplegia for more than 6 hours. It was an experience not to be forgotten to have felt how do the paralyse people feel. I had an acute urinary retention as a complication of the spinal anaesthesia. The moment I could urinate again was a satisfying feeling. I didn’t know to pee adalah satu nikmat.

My thought has changed since I joined CUCMS. I barely trust other doctors than my own lecturers. It may be the 2 previous poor experience I had in the last 3 years. That was why I decided to do it in Terendak Hospital than the proposed one, SJMC. I rather spend some money than going to the nearer hospital (SJMC ada insuran cover but not HAT 94). I have a lot of confident and motivated to do it under them. I was lucky to have my mom around from morning till night. She had taken care of me very well. I was totally like a baby who craved for attention. She did everything for me from a-z. I could not imagine myself going through all these things alone. At the end of the day, mother’s love is a wonderful and great one. I had non-stop visitors from the staff nurses to the student nurses and the patients in the ward. Interestingly, many of them called me doctor. Thank you very much to the people who prayed for me to get well soon. I had a tremendous improvement in the second day. (29/04/08)

Back to Heaven

Home sweet home. The house is so unique and powerful which attract positive elements to myself. No matter how great a holiday trip is, a full satisfaction could only be obtained from the home we owned. It could be the parents or the siblings. It could be something that we have adapted for a long time. I don't know. Perhaps, I would compare it to the toilet we use everyday. Of course, the thing I hate to do at a living place is to clean the toilet. I always look for the minimum time to spend in there regardless of how clean or beautiful it could be. I simply hate it. However, I use the same toilet in every place I go. I am quite confident to say that most of us are doing the same thing. If there were 5 cubicles or 5 toilets at different floor, the probability of us using the same toilet we firstly entered is very likely. This excludes the ‘emergency’ call. There are also chances that we see the toilet from the outside before we decide to use it. When there is no chemistry, we will find other toilets that suit us. Later, when we need to use it on other days, we will end up going to that chosen ones. It may sounds ‘funny’ but very true indeed. So, wherever we go, home is still the best living place to be in.

My holiday started earlier than I thought. It was suppose to be good news but I had mixed feeling about it. None of my friends are available, not even the Subangs’. I usually feel very pleased to have holiday and will look for someone before anyone else but it didn’t happen this time. Since we had made some decisions with mutual consent, I ended being alone. I could not figure what actually had happened but somehow, it was another step taken. The best companion I had for the past few days was my audio system in my car. I am glad to have bought it even it costs me a price. It helped to release some tense situation. In the 2nd day, I had a time off in IKEA after so long. It was great but I missed a chance to do something there a couple of weeks earlier. Anyway, I had my dinner there. It was ‘chicken leg with lemon sauce’ or anything close to that (x ingat lar nama meal tuh).My all time favourite are pouched salmon and meatballs. The have good coffee as well. Tapi kesian giler, I had to eat it alone. I had done it many times but that day was different. I felt very much down but was relieved when I had things in mind to buy in the next visits. I simply love home d├ęcor and creative outcomes. It is the art of making use everything we have to make the best out of it for self-satisfaction.

Out of nowhere, I had difficulty to sleep. I could be thinking too much that is above the sky. I had a peek to myself and had become clueless towards it. Am I a bad guy? Am I ever satisfied with things I had been receiving? Am I being thankful to God? Am I appreciating people around me? Am I being obsessive towards some things? Am I worried of unnecessary things? There were so many questions in my head yang memang tak bley blar. Ntah apa giler ntah dok fikir benda2 camni. Aduh! All I know, I am a teenager who is only 23 and not someone who is physically 23 but mentally 33. It does not mean I am neglecting my future. I do think to prepare myself for the coming years. I had even done 80% of things I had set last year. I am referring to the short-term goals for long-term use. It differs from the long-term goals which I have in minds. I am happy that it goes as it planned but earlier than I thought. It was helped indirectly by someone who I care for. I was being motivated to achieve it a.s.a.p. but do not expect to lose anything at this moment. I was wrong and speechless of what had happened. At the end of the day, I questioned myself, is it me, the situations or ??? Since I take my mom’s word deeply, I blamed myself for the bad ones. I vowed to look into this matter and do the necessary changes. It is not only about adapting but also about making it as a 2nd nature. It brings no harm. I am pleased to have great family and friends to share my heart with. I am waiting, all of you, cepat lar be around. (24/04/08)